Gloria McCormick
A Dr. Suess Breast Expansion Parody
by Edgar Love

There once was a girl named Gloria McCormick
And she had the smallest plane pair of breasts there ever was.
Two itsby bitsy A-cup breasts. That's all that she had.
And, oh! Those two little breasts made Gloria so sad.

For there was another young bird that she knew,
A fancy young girl named Lolla-Lee-Lou,
And instead of an A-cup, she had two C-cups!
Poor Gloria! Whenever she happened to spu
Miss Lolla-Lee-Lou walking by on the street,
She got very jelous. She frowned. And she pouted.
Then, one day she got awfully made and shouted:
This just isn't fair! I have little A-cups! She had big D-cups!
I MUST have a pair just like Lolla-Lee-Lou!

So she flew to her uncle, a doctor named Drake
Whose office was high in a building by the lake
And she cried, Uncle Doctor! Oh, please do you know
Of some kind of a pill that will make my breasts grow?
Tut tut! said the doctor Such talk! How absurd!
Your breasts are just right for you.

Then Gloria had tantrums. She raised such a din
That finally her uncle, the doctor, gave in
And he told her just where she could find such a pill
On a pill-berry vine on top of the hill.
Oh, thank you! cried Gloria McCormick, and she ran
Right straight to the hill where the pill-berry grew.

Yes! There was the vine! And as soon as she saw it
She plucked off a berry. She started to gnaw it.
It tasted just awful. Almost made her suck.
But she wanted those breasts, so she swallowed it quick.
Then she felt something happen! She felt a sensation
As if she'd been in the sun, down by the beach.
And Gloria looked down. And she cheered! It was true!
D-cup breasts! Exactly like Lolla-Lee-Lou!

Then she got an idea! Now I know what I'll do...
I'll grow a pair of breasts better then Lolla-Lee-Lou!

These pills that grow breasts are working just fine!
So she nibbled another one off the vine!

She felt a new sensation. And then Gloria yelled, WHEE!
Miss Lolla-Lee-Lou has only C-cup breasts! I have E-cup breasts!
When Lolla-Lee-Lou sees these beautiful things,
She'll fall right down flat on her face, sure enough!
I'll shown HER who's pretty! I certainly will!
Why, I'll make my breasts even bigger still!

She snatched at those berries that grew on that vine.
She gobbed down four, five, six, seven, eight, nine!
And she didn't stop eating, young Gloria McCormick,
Till she'd eaten thirty dozen! That's all that there was.

Then her breasts surged out! With a zang! With a zang!
They grew like great pumpkins in the fall.
All fit for a queen! What a sight to behold!
They swelled with great milky white flesh and as sensitive as a flower!
Like silk! Like satin! Like lace!
They burst out like rockets everywhere!
They jiggled as they grew and they grew horny against the cold wind!
And they were as long and wide as a small car.
And they still kept growing! They grew and they grew and they grew
Unil, 'long after sundown when, finally, they stopped.

And WOW, gigled Gloria, The next thing to do
Is to go straight home and show Lolla-Lee-Lou!
And when Lolla sees these, why her face will get red
And she'll let out a scream and she'll fall right dead!

She she tried to stand up and walk
But, with the size of her breasts, she weighed a thousand pound!
She pushes and she pulled and let our a scream,
But that girl couldn't walk! Couldn't get up! Couldn't move!

And all through that night, she was stuck on that hill,
with the cool breezy air rushing over her breasts.
She did the only thing a  girl could do when that turned on,
she pleasured herself like no woman ever did or ever could,
her massive breasts shaking and rumbling for each burst of pleasure,
making her even more turned on and in need of more pleasure.

The process went on all night
and Gloria McCormick might be stuck up there still
If her good Uncle Drake hadn't hear the girl moan.
He rushed to her and brought along help.

To lift Gloria up almost broke all the cranes
And to bring her home, it took almost two weeks.
And then her good Uncle Drake said:
We'll most certainly have to reduce those breasts!

Gloria loved her two massive breasts,
And she was given a week to to decide.

At the end of the week Gloria had chosen.
She told her Uncle to leave her alone.
Gloria McCormick loved her breasts,
She pleasured herself all day and night,
its okay now because
Gloria finally found happiness.